Wait Hold On! Allah did NOT say you can beat your wife!!
I have been fighting and struggling with myself on how a religion of peace could give the green light for husbands to beat their wives. Allah guided me to the answer and the truth. In most Quran’s, the verse (4:34) is translated as:
“Men shall take full care of women with the bounties which God has bestowed more abundantly on the former than on the latter, and with what they may spend out of their possessions. And the righteous women are the truly devout ones, who guard the intimacy which God has [ordained to be] guarded. And as for those women whose ill-will you have reason to fear, admonish them [first]; then leave them alone in bed; then beat them; and if thereupon they pay you heed, do not seek to harm them. Behold, God is indeed most high, great.”- Quran (4:34)
Something just did not seem in harmony. There was a huge discrepancy between what Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) taught and the translation of that verse. Laleh Bakhtiar, Ph.D. spent numerous of years studying the Arabic language. After intense studying, she questioned that Arabic word that was translated as “to beat” in the English translation of that verse.
Laleh Bakthtiar presents 3 arguments
1. The word “beat” is a command which the Prophet chose not to carry out; and
2. The Arabic word “beat” has 25 meanings so why chose a meaning that does not follow the legal and moral principles of the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet?
3. Interpreting the word as “beat” contradicts 2:231 and fosters divorce rather than marriage, commands to immorality and prohibits morality which is one of the definitions of a hypocrite in the Qur’an (see 9:67).
In my opinion, these are very good points to think about. If this Arabic word, translated into “to beat”, has 25 meanings, how can we know that “to beat” is what the word translates to?
It is obviously against Islamic teachings. Islam promote love and tolerance; To beat anyone, let alone women, sounds absurd. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) stated “Verily, Heaven lies under the feet of our mother.” From this, one can just imagine the value that is given to a mother (who of course can only be a woman). Similarly, Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) was the first feminist. He put a stop to female infanticide, allowed women to own property, and permitted divorce. If Allah favored men and wanted women to just be submissive and subservient to men, why would His messenger, Prophet Muhammad, advocate for women’s rights? Why would he give permission for women to get a divorce, if it was only about the man and his happiness? These questions really make it hard for me to believe that Allah would give permission for a husband to beat his wife. Something somewhere is not right.
Being a Muslim Women, it is very hard to watch the news and see other Muslim sisters being oppressed by men. It tears me apart to see women denied rights to choose what they want to wear, where they want to go or drive. When we go back to the Words of God, the Qu’ran, we can analyze what really is going on. We live in a patriarchal society ruled by male dominance that use the Qur’an to oppress women and take their God given rights. Let’s admit it. Men are the privileged and powerful group in this world. Anyone at that rank would fear losing power. To ensure that men secure that power, they use these tactics to keep women from rising and eventually being a threat to their power.
Aside from these cultural impositions, we, women and men, need to remember that Islam teaches equality and love. Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) advocated for women’s rights and equality, at a time when women were treated as objects. To give women these rights 1400 years ago was an accomplishment within itself. Let’s work together to move away from this traditional culture that limit women and move toward what Islam teaches, equality for all.
Salam (Peace and Blessings).
The First English Translation of the Quran (Koran) by an American Woman
How does this translation of the Sublime Quran by Laleh Bakhtiar, Ph. D., differ from other English translations?
- It is an universal, inclusive translation with no parenthetical expressions
- The translation has internal consistency and reliability
- There is a different English equivalent for each Arabic grammatical form
- Words not appearing in the Arabic but necessary for English are in italics
- The translation is presented line by line and not verse by verse
- Symbols for how a line is recited in Arabic are placed at the end of a line
- Reverts 4:34 and “to beat” back to its original interpretation meaning “to go away
I tried to find Him on the Christian cross, but He was not there;
I went to the temple of the Hindus and to the old pagodas,
but I could not find a trace of Him anywhere…
I searched on the mountains and in the valleys
but neither in the heights nor in the depths was I able to find Him.
I went to the Ka’bah in Mecca, but He was not there either…
I questioned the scholars and philosophers but He was beyond their understanding…
Then I looked into my heart and it was there
where He dwelled that I saw Him,
He was nowhere else to be found.
Wait.. What about me?
Poem: “Why Be Cruel To Yourself?” from the The Rumi Collection
Your grace is the shepherd of all who have been created, guarding them from the wolf of pain.
a loving shepherd like God’s pen, Moses.
A single sheep fled from him: Moses wore out his shoes and his feet blistered as he followed after it,
meanwhile the flock had vanished from sight.
The lost sheep was weak and exhausted;
Moses shook the dust from it
and stroked its back and head with his hand,
fondling it lovingly like a mother.
Not a bit of irritation and anger,
He said to the sheep, “I can understand but why did your nature show such cruelty to itself?”
At that moment God said to the angels,
“This human being is suitable to be a prophet.”
Mind
In the cycle of life, parents take care of their offspring. Protection of their young is key. Parents fear that the innocence may make their children vulnerable to the cruel world. The voice of our parents saying ” It is a bad world out there. You never know their true intention” echoes in the ears of the youth. Parents want to shelter their children from the evil world, full of scam, mischief, and selfishness. Each child grows up being reminded to be cautious and to look out for themselves.
As we grow older, subconsciously those thoughts stick with us. We are taught to look out for our well-being and our benefits. In the workplace, we are scared that we may become a push-over and get taken advantage of. In business deals, we want to make sure that we are not cheated in anyway. We become so consumed about ourselves, life becomes all about “I”. We want the benefits, and rarely can take loss. We fear that if we are not alert, the world will take advantage of us leaving us fiddling our thumbs. We are conditioned to make “I” a focal point of life. We become devoured by our feelings, benefits, enjoyments, gains, and pleasures. We become desensitized to the feelings and lives of others. Our life becomes priority.
Soul
Our world has made us so occupied within ourselves, that our feelings become superior to the feelings of others. Our gains are more worthy to us. Others take the passenger seat. Deep inside, the soul is in turmoil. The soul within us is a part of the divine. It is selfless. It is nourished by loving and helping others. It is stated in Saheeh Al- Bukhari,
“None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
Islam clearly teaches that our feelings and our lives should not be superior or more worthy than of another human-being. Also, in the Quran it states:
“…And they give others preference over themselves even though they were themselves in need….” (Quran 59:9)
God Almighty wants his followers to put their own benefits, gains, feelings and needs aside and go out of their way in service to others. HE wants us to be sensitive to others. His mercy is within that selfless duty to mankind.
I would like to refer back to the Rumi poem in the beginning of this post. It stated:
Not a bit of irritation and anger,
He (Moses) said to the sheep, “I can understand but why did your nature show such cruelty to itself?” (Rumi)
After the sheep wandered away, Moses (AS) did not care that his shoes were worn out. He did not fear about his well-being, or the pain of walking a long way to find that sheep. He was deeply concerned about the animal. He put his feelings and pain aside to find that sheep. After finding the sheep, Moses (AS) was not angry. He did not curse the animal or complain about the trouble he went through. When he saw that the sheep was weak and exhausted, he could only think the miserable condition the sheep was in.
Although it is wise to be cautious in this world, that itself should not overpower the soul. Do not let the fear of “I” overpower your every action and deed. Do not forget others in protecting yourself.
Mind Vs Soul
Is our mind rational in protecting us in this world? Is fear essential to safeguard us from being taken advantage of? Or Is the true believers duty to focus on the feelings of others before their own? Even if we get taken advantage of, in reality, does ALLAH shower more blessings upon the sympathetic individual?
I’ll let your mind and soul argue that one out! :)
God Bless
I AM MUSLIM AND HERE IS MY JIHAD.
It is 4:45am and my phone alarm starts blaring.
My alarm is not any fancy alarm nor an obnoxious one. But, the thought of waking up on a summer morning, that early, makes me want to sledge hammer my phone and then throw it off the Eiffel Tower.
It is time to pray the morning Fajr Salah (morning prayer), The first of 5 prayers required by every Muslim to pray daily.
So this is where my Jihad begins. I gear myself up for battle. It is TIME FOR WAR. I look around for my Iman (faith in God) and find that I am already equipped. Now, I must prepare for the hardest part, getting myself out of bed. As time is slipping out of my hand, I open one eye, just enough so I can maneuver through the battle-field, my room. I have no time to waste. With one eye slightly open, I am prepared to face my enemies. Geared and ready, I start to pull myself out of bed. Now, this is no easy task. My laziness retaliated, as soon as I began to move out of bed. It took me numerous minutes as I battled my enemy (laziness). I am almost there, I can not stop now, for victory is around the corner…literally. Every second of those minutes, I was fighting with the inner-voice luring me to go back to sleep. But I must fight. I must do what my Lord has commanded. Determined, I opened my eyes. The thoughts of my Lord, the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and the Quran served as my weapons to combat my enemy. My laziness had been defeated. I got up out of bed. As I stood next to my bed, had won my inner struggle and battle, the Jihad I had waged.
I was victorious. I made it up just in time to pray. While everyone else in my house remained asleep, I was able to drag myself out of bed. I used my “faith” as my weapon to strive for the cause of my Lord.
The word “Jihad” is used to justify the killings of innocent people in the name of Islam and God. This is not jihad. Bombing, killing and harming the creations of God is not Jihad. I am not a Muslim Scholar nor am I one that has enough knowledge to preach about Islam. But, I know one thing, God loves his creations. It is only HE, which has the right to give life and take life.
According to the teachings of Islam, God has placed us on this world to test us. Don’t fail this test given by your Lord, by spreading hate and harming innocent people.
Please, someone tell those looney toons blowing up cars, buildings, and killing innocent people how Jihad is really done. Fight your desires and hate. Wage Jihad on yourself, that is what our Lord has commanded. Do good deeds, regardless of what other people think and say. Free those that are oppressed, no matter how hard it may be. That is what Jihad is.
“The best jihad [struggle] is (by) the one who strives against his own self for Allah, The Mighty and Majestic,” Hadith (sayings of the Prophet Muhammad).
Mind vs Soul – $$$ Chasing the Dollar $$$
Mind vs Soul – $$$ Chasing the Dollar $$$
Once a sheikh and a disciple were walking quickly toward a town where it’s known there is very little to eat. The disciple says nothing but he is constantly afraid of going hungry. The teacher knows what the student thinks. How long will you be frightened of the future because you love food? You have closed the eye of self-denial and forgotten who provides. Don’t worry, you’ll have your walnuts and raisins and special deserts. Only the true favorites get hunger for their daily bread. You’re not one of those. Whoever loves the belly is brought bowl after bowl from the kitchen. When such a person dies, the bread itself comes to the funeral and makes a speech. “O corpse, you almost killed yourself with worrying about food. Now you’re gone and food is still here, more than enough. Have some free bread. Bread is more in love with you than you with it. It sits and waits for days. It knows you have no will. If you could fast, bread would jump into your lap as lovers do with each other. Be full with trusting, not with these childish fears of famine.”
via BetterListen!: Excerpt from “Poems of Rumi” read by Coleman Barks and Robert Bly.
Mind
We go through life chasing the “green paper” and the “big bucks.” As young children, we are taught the value of money. We are given allowance and told how much we can spend a day. Momma and Papa tell us we we need to keep our grades up so we can get into the best colleges. Once college comes around the corner, the thought of money lingers, as we try to cover the expenses of tuition, living, and well of course entertainment. Why is money the focal point of our lives? The answer is fairly simple. Everyone has to eat. The body has it needs. It needs nourishment. Food is what gives life to the body and keeps it running. Food is the fuel that operates the human machine. We start to feel insecure when the bank account starts to deplete. We become stressed and restless when our jobs are at stake. We begin to worry when CNN tells us the economy is plummeting. We worry about the future. How will I pay my bills? If I get laid off, how will I afford to feed myself and my family? Who will feed me? So, in this society we are trained to chase the dollar. We build our life around building a financial foundation and working our way up to a luxurious happy life that money can only buy. The brain and mind keeps reminding us that without money there is no security in life. Like in the Rumi’s poem the disciple was constantly worrying about how he would fill his stomach, just as we are doing now.
Soul
As a Muslim, I also believe that God is the Provider . He is the One that that gives life, and He is the One that takes life. As a Muslim, I believe that God has designated different sources to bring that food to us. It can be a donation, a job, a promotion, a good education, a family member, or a stranger. Whichever it may be, God sends help in many different ways to his creation. In the Qu’ran it states
“Truly, Allah is the Provider, the Possessor of Strength, the Sure”. ( Surat adh-Dhariyat, 51:58)
From a spiritual perspective, it sounds pretty silly to spend life chasing money. If God has predestined for you to have a something, there is no force in the world that can stop you from obtaining it. If I am meant to have a huge steak and mashed potatoes for dinner, then Alhamdulilah (All Praise to God) for providing with a great meal. If I am to have a single bite of stale bread, then again, I must say Alhamdulilah (All Praise to God) for providing me with that bite of food.
“To praise God is to be purified: when purity arrives, corruption quickly leaves. Opposites flee from each other: night flees when the light dawns. When the pure Name enters the mouth, neither impurity nor sorrow remain.” (Rumi, Mathnawi III, 186-188, quoted in: Helminski, Kabir (2000). The Rumi Collection. P.97.)
Allah has provided us pathways to obtain what he has stored for us. It is our duty to seek that path. We must work hard and put in effort to get it. Now, If you try to think about money in relation to spirituality, it takes the drivers seat in leading us away from God. Our intent behind our everyday work become monetary gain. It is true that God will not send food flying from the sky into your mouth. We must work for it. But, instead of being content with what He has given us, and praising Him for what he has given, we want more and more. Our greed for money manifests. Instead of praising Him, we become ungrateful. We do not just want food to survive, we want a feast to enjoy. We do not just want a roof over our head, we want a mansion with servants and a swimming pool. We do not just want to become a doctor or nurse to help the creations of ALLAH, we want to get paid for our good deeds. We want more and we want to give less. Like the Rumi Poem at the top of this post, the disciple worried about how he would obtain his next meal. In reality, the food that God has destined for each individual loves them more than each individual loves food. When the person puts all faith in The Provider, the food chases the individual. In other words, God is the provider, so trust in him and let his blessings flow to you
Mind Vs Soul
So here is the conflict once again that takes place within. Shall we follow the Brain/Mind that tells us to keep chasing the money? Is it reasonable to stress and worry about where the money will come from and how we will provide for ourselves and family? Or should we take a step back and let The Provider provide? Should we focus more on thanking God and being content?
I’ll let your brain and your soul argue that one out 
God Bless.
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